August 3rd marks a traumatic milestone—it’s the fifth anniversary of my precious son’s ascension to Heaven. As I sit here reflecting on the past, I feel an overwhelming mix of love and sorrow. The loss will always feel heavy, and the pain doesn’t ease with time. Instead, it lingers. It resurfaces as vivid dreams and memories that play like a movie reel in my mind. Each moment is etched with down-to-the-minute clarity, and reliving the trauma can sometimes feel like I’m trapped in a whirlwind of torture.
In the days leading up I’ve found myself haunted by memories. The laughter we shared is comforting. His love for art is both comforting and painful. The way he always found magic in nature remains with me. I can almost hear his laughter echoing through the trees. I wish more than anything that he were here with me today. The pain is a constant companion. FULL STOP. It is always with me. It is only the Grace of God that the coping mechanisms found in birds and nature have saved me.
In honor of my son, I’ve made the decision to travel to Costa Rica on his day of Ascension. This journey is not just about escaping; it’s about seeking healing in a place where nature thrives, and beauty abounds. I hope to find comfort among the vibrant landscapes, much like he found joy in insect, squirrel, every blooming flower. Costa Rica’s lush rainforests and breathtaking beaches remind me of his spirit—a spirit that continues to shine brightly in everything around me.
As I prepare to navigate that day, I hold onto the memory of my little artist. I celebrate not only the love we shared but also the impact he had on everyone who knew him. He taught me lessons about embracing life and finding beauty in the details, and I want to honor that every single day.
Below find the birds who are keeping me until I depart:
WATCH THIS SPACE.
Bird Lady of Turtle Island 